Cloverleaf : Chapter Twelve

Part Three ; Aberlour

August 16, 2024

Ethan found Zach standing at the window of his office, staring out at the grey Cleveland afternoon. A messenger dropped this off downstairs,” Ethan said, holding a small cardboard box.

Zach frowned. “There’s no name on it. Are you sure it’s for me?”

Ethan shrugged, “That’s what he said.”

Ethan handed Zach the box, but lingered in the doorway.

Inside was Jasper’s chewed-up green dog toy Peter had brought with him twelve months earlier when he showed up in Cleveland asking for another chance. For a second, Zach just stared at it.

“From him?”

Zach nodded once.

A note was pinned beneath one of the torn ears.

Jasper let me borrow this.

Come home.

The room suddenly felt too small for both of them.

Ethan looked away first. “You should go.”

Zach nodded once, already reaching for his coat.

▫ ▫ ▫

Peter crossed the condo the second he heard Zach’s keys in the lock.

Zach barely had the door open before Peter pulled him into his arms.

For a moment, neither of them said anything.

“I’m sorry,” Peter whispered hoarsely, his eyes wet with tears.

“Are you okay?” Zach’s eyes searched his face for understanding.

“I don’t know,” Peter answered honestly. “I keep replaying it. I was the one who put you there. I gave him permission.” He looked away. “Watching you with him… it wasn’t just jealousy.” His voice dropped lower. “It was how easily you gave yourself over to him. And he knew I was watching.”

Zach lowered his eyes. “I don’t think he was trying to hurt you.”

“You’re defending him.”

“No.” Zach shook his head. “I think he was jealous. And I think he wanted something that belonged to you.”

Peter swallowed hard. “I didn’t expect it to make me feel inadequate.” His head bowed slightly. “Like I couldn’t reach parts of you he could.”

Zach’s expression softened immediately. “Peter--”

“And I hated how much part of me liked watching you with him,” Peter admitted roughly. “The way you moved together. The way you let go with him.” He closed his eyes briefly. “Until I started feeling like I disappeared.”

“I knew you were there,” Zach said softly. “I wanted to look at you, but I couldn’t.” He hesitated. “Yes… for a little while, I felt like I was his.”

Peter flinched almost imperceptibly.

“But I never stopped being yours.”

“And now?” Peter asked quietly. “Do you want it again?”

Zach took a long breath before answering.“I think it woke something up in me,” he admitted. “Maybe in both of us.” His voice turned more fragile. “And in the moment… yes. I wanted more.” He shook his head faintly. “But I hated watching it hurt you afterward.”

Peter said nothing.

“What happened with Wes didn’t change how I feel about you,” Zach continued. “If anything, it made me realize how tightly tied I want to be to you.”

Peter pulled him closer again. “I don’t want to share you,” he whispered. “I want this to be ours. Just ours. At least for now.”

Zach looked directly into his eyes. “What I want,” he said quietly, “is you. And whatever this becomes, to come back to you every time.”

Peter kissed him then, slowly, like a promise neither of them fully understood yet but were choosing anyway.

Eventually, they found their way to bed. Their bodies warm and tangled together, still carrying the ache of everything they’d confessed.

“We’re okay?” Peter asked quietly.

Zach turned toward him in the dark. “Yeah,” he whispered. “Come here.”

▫ ▫ ▫

August 27, 2024

Ben found Peter in the barn, loading the last of the equipment into the trailer. The wide doors stood open to the fading Kentucky light, and somewhere outside, Karl was laughing with Tyler.

Ben shoved his hands into his jacket pockets and looked past him toward the paddock.

“What’s going on, Ben?”

“I don’t know when I’ll be able to catch up with you guys.” He shrugged. “I can’t leave the farm in Josh and Tyler’s hands too long without coming home to a crater.”

Peter laughed quietly. “Fair.”

Ben hesitated.“Just…” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “Keep an eye on Karl for me.”

Peter leaned against the trailer. “Ben, he’s a grown man.”

“I know he is.” Ben’s voice sharpened slightly, then softened again. “I just mean…” He exhaled hard. “He trusts people too easily sometimes. And if he hooks up with somebody while he’s out there…”

Peter raised an eyebrow.

Ben rolled his eyes. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m serious.”

“You worried about him hooking up with somebody?” Peter asked carefully, “Or him meeting somebody?”

Ben looked away. “I know what this tour means to him,” he admitted quietly. “And if it all goes right…” He swallowed. “What if he realizes he wants something bigger than this place? Bigger than me?”

Peter was quiet for a moment. Then: “I think you’re the only person in the world who can actually break his heart.”

Ben laughed once through his nose, though there wasn’t much humor in it.

Peter stepped closer and rested a hand briefly against his shoulder. “I’ll look after him,” he said. “I promise.”

Ben nodded.

“Just make sure,” Peter added softly, “you’re here when he comes home. And maybe don’t let Tyler in your bed while Karl’s away. I know he’s a hard worker, but just watch yourself, Ben.”

▫ ▫ ▫

September 13, 2024

Other than Karl nearly vomiting before the first show and the van dying outside Baltimore, the twenty-city tour was going better than any of them expected. More than half the dates sold out.

In Chicago, an A&R rep from a major label cornered Karl after the set and offered to sign “just Karl.” Peter laughed in the man’s face. “I wouldn’t wipe my ass with that contract,” he told him. “And he’s not leaving the band.”

But the best night of the tour so far, as Karl was concerned, happened in Milwaukee. Halfway through the set, he looked out into the crowd and saw Ben standing near the stage, smiling at him like he couldn’t quite believe where Karl had ended up.

Afterward, sweaty and exhausted and still riding the high, Karl threw his arms around him. “How are you here?”

“Danny drove down from Sandusky to look after the farm for a few days,” Ben said. “I wanted to see you. We’ve got three nights together.”

The following morning, in a Holiday Inn just outside Madison, Ben opened his eyes and untangled himself from Karl’s arms and legs. He carefully got out of bed, so he didn’t wake Karl, and stumbled to the window, scratching his balls. When he pulled back the curtain, a ray of light fell across the bed and the milky whiteness of Karl’s buttocks. Watching Karl sleep, Ben felt overwhelmed by how much there was to lose now. Their happiness was fragile enough to break if he touched it too hard.

Karl woke up and realized Ben wasn’t next to him. “Ben?” Karl’s voice was husky and shaking. “Ben?”

“I’m right here.”

“I was afraid last night was a dream.”

Ben crawled back into bed and pressed himself against Karl, “That would’ve been one raunchy-ass dream.”

Karl pressed his face close to Ben’s chest. “I missed your smell.”

“How do I smell?”

“Like hay and sex.”

“Speaking of sex, you and me have been apart for two weeks, and we only made up for one week last night. We still have a little time before we need to meet Pete in the lobby.” Ben wrapped his hand around Karl’s erection. “And this feels like you still got another week in you.” Ben gripped Karl’s hips and settled himself between his legs.

▫ ▫ ▫

The band had the following day off before the next gig in Minneapolis, so Ben and Karl disappeared into the Wisconsin Northwoods and rented a cabin on a quiet lake.

They slept late, cooked badly, swam naked in the freezing water, and pretended their time together wasn’t coming to an end.

The Minneapolis show sold out in less than a day. Karl kept insisting it was because of the headliner, but when Ben walked into the theater, he immediately understood there was more to it than that.

There were far more men than usual, openly watching the stage even before the lights went down. Somehow, word had spread that Karl and the bass player were gay.

From where Ben stood offstage, he noticed a cluster of guys gathered near the front when Markwald went on. One in particular kept looking toward the stage whenever Karl moved. Dark hair, pretty in the way younger men sometimes were. He caught Ben watching him and smiled.

Ben smiled back. Before he could think better of it, Ben pushed through the crowd and stopped directly behind him, close enough that Ben’s chest was pressed against the man’s back. He could feel the heat coming off his body.

“You a Markwald fan?” Ben shouted over the music.

The guy turned, visibly startled at first, then amused. “Yeah.”

Ben nodded toward the stage where Karl was playing.

“You wanna meet him?”

The guy stared at him. “Seriously?”

Ben stepped closer, close enough to smell the beer on the guy’s breath. “Holiday Inn,” he murmured near the man’s ear. “Room 1209. Around eleven.”

The man’s eyes darkened. “You’re not fucking with me?”

“Give me your phone.” Ben typed in his number. “Text me from the lobby.”

▫ ▫ ▫

Ben headed upstairs first and showered while Karl stayed behind to talk with Peter and the rest of the band.

Somewhere between the venue and the hotel, the guy from the crowd, Alex, had texted to make sure Ben wasn’t “fuckin around” with him...

By the time Karl got back to the room, Ben was sprawled across the bed in a pair of gym shorts, his phone resting against his bare stomach.

“Everything okay?” Karl asked.

“Yeah.” Ben glanced up briefly. “Just checking in with Danny. Making sure the farm hasn’t burned down.”

Karl laughed softly and kicked off his boots, leaning down to kiss him.

Ben kissed him back, but distractedly.

Karl pulled away just enough to study him. “You sure everything’s okay?”

“Yeah, baby.” Ben gave his thigh a squeeze. “Go shower.”

Karl was still in the shower when a knock sounded at the door. Ben opened the door just enough to glance into the hallway before pulling it wider. Alex stood in the hallway in jeans and a black t-shirt, hands shoved into his pockets, suddenly seeming much younger and less certain than he had near the stage.

“Hey,” Ben said quietly. “Right on time.”

Ben stepped aside. “C’mon in.”

Alex stepped into the room slowly, taking in the damp towels tossed near the bathroom door, the low light of the bedside lamp, the open suitcase on the floor. Then Karl walked out of the bathroom barefoot and naked, rubbing a towel through his damp hair. He stopped when he saw Alex, and quickly wrapped the towel around his waist. “Ben?”

Ben moved casually toward the minibar like this was the most normal thing in the world. “This is Alex,” he said. “Alex, this is Karl.”

Karl looked at Alex for another second, then back at Ben. “You invited him here?”

Even as he said it, Karl crossed the room and held out his hand to Alex. “I’m sorry,” he said with an embarrassed laugh. “I’m still trying to catch up.”

Alex shook his hand, still visibly unsure what he’d just walked into. “It’s okay,” he said carefully.

Ben opened the minibar. “Anybody want a drink before this gets any weirder?”

The room had grown warmer and louder and slightly unsteady by the time Alex stood in front of Karl in only his boxers and socks. Ben pressed in behind Karl, kissing lazily at his neck.

Alex hooked his fingers into the waistband of Karl’s briefs. “Can I?” Karl nodded once, and Alex dropped to his knees. He slid Karl’s briefs down and wrapped his hand around the shaft, the foreskin pulled tight over the swollen head. He looked up at Karl and bent forward, pushing the foreskin back, his tongue licking a drop of precum leaking from the slit.

Ben lay back on the bed, stroking himself, watching Alex worship Karl’s cock. Karl gazed lovingly into Ben’s eyes, knowing they’d traveled a long way to get to a place where they could share each other like this.

“Stand up,” Karl said, helping Alex to his feet. He slid Alex’s boxers off and pulled him close, their tongues and cocks pressing together.

Ben watched as he fisted himself with uneven strokes. “Get over here”, he said softly. “Both of you.” Karl crawled up next to Ben and kissed him, deep and possessive. Ben moaned into the kiss, threading his fingers into Alex’s hair, pushing his head down. Alex’s tongue raked over Ben’s nipples, his heaving chest, over the lines of his abs. Ben spread his legs wider, cock curving up toward his navel like an invitation. Alex licked the tip of his cock, glistening with precum, and dragged his tongue over the thick vein pulsing along the underside. Ben’s grip tightened as he fucked Alex’s mouth with slow thrusts.

Alex pulled back with a wet gasp, strings of saliva hung between his lips and the head of Ben’s cock. He coughed, wiping his mouth with the back of his wrist, and eagerly took Ben’s cock back in his mouth, opening wider, taking him to the root. Tears welled at the corners of his eyes. Ben propped himself up on one elbow, muscles corded in his forearm. watching Alex bury his nose in his pubes. A desperate moan came out of Alex as his nose pressed harder into the coarse curls, inhaling the musk trapped there.

Ben pulled Alex’s mouth off his swollen cock. “You didn’t come here for my cock,” he rasped. He stroked lazily, watching Alex make out with his husband. Alex’s kisses trailed down Karl’s chest, sucking each nipple, dragging his tongue over Karl’s abs.

Alex looked up, reverently, then took Karl’s cock back in his mouth, his nose brushing the tuft of dark honey with each bob of his head. Karl’s fingers raked through Alex’s hair as he thrust into his mouth, his cock pulsing against Alex’s tongue before he could warn him. Thick spurts of semen hit the back of Alex’s throat as he swallowed to keep up with it.

Ben yanked Alex off Karl’s softening cock by his hair. “Open your mouth,” he commanded. not waiting before pushing in. Alex’s lips wrapped around the flushed head, dripping with precum. Karl watched, his own spent cock twitching at the sight. Ben’s fingers tightened in Alex’s hair, pulling him off just enough to let him gasp before plunging back down. Ben growled, thrusting up into his mouth. “Christ,” he muttered, thumb swiping roughly over Alex’s stretched lips. Alex moaned around the mouthful, struggling to take Ben’s girth. “Lick my balls,” Ben pushed Alex’s face lower. forcing him to inhale the musky scent. Alex moaned, his breath hot and ragged on Ben’s thighs, eagerly sucking Ben’s heavy balls into his mouth.

Ben turned his head to Karl. “Look at me,” he said softly. Alex’s tear-streaked eyes flickered open, pupils blown wide. Ben and Karl’s mouths were locked in a filthy kiss. Beads of sweat rolled down Ben’s chest. Alex’s lips, pink and swollen, parted when Ben dragged his thumb across them. Ben twisted his fingers tighter in Alex’s hair. “You want me to come in your mouth?” The response was a garbled plea. Ben thrust his cock deep into Alex’s mouth, shooting four thick ropes of cum down his throat. Alex coughed but held on, swallowing all of it, stroking his cock furiously, spraying his load between Ben’s thighs.

Ben untangled himself from the bed and quietly pulled on his jeans and t-shirt. “I gotta grab something from the truck,” he muttered, though Karl suspected he was really trying to give Alex a few minutes alone with Karl. After the door shut behind him, the room fell strangely quiet.

Karl and Alex got dressed without saying much, then sat side by side on the edge of the bed. Alex gave a small disbelieving laugh and shook his head. “I can’t believe this actually happened. I came here hoping maybe I’d get to talk to you for a few minutes after the show.” Alex’s expression turned more serious. “I’m not gonna tell anybody,” he said. “Not because I think you’re hiding or anything. I just…” A faint smile touched his mouth. “You have no idea what you do to people, do you?

Karl looked down, suddenly unsure what to do with that.

“Thanks.” Alex shrugged lightly. “For all of it. And thank Ben for me too. I won’t ever forget tonight.” Alex leaned in and kissed Karl softly once on the lips. Then he was gone.

A few minutes later, Ben walked back into the room.

“Alex left,” Karl said.

“Yeah. I ran into him downstairs.”

Ben peeled off his t-shirt and let it fall to the floor. Then he crossed the room, took Karl’s face in his hands, and kissed him slowly. “I’m not finished with you yet,” he murmured. He got completely naked and pulled Karl onto the bed, kissing his chest and belly. He pressed Karl’s knees to his chest, pulled his ass cheeks apart, and spat on his hole. His fingers teased with deliberate slowness. Karl’s hips jerked when Ben’s finger breached him, his cock twitching against his stomach, hard again.

Karl’s fingers dug into Ben’s biceps when he added a second finger, even deeper this time. The needy moan Karl let out was loud and obscene. Ben’s tongue licked a slow circle around his twitching hole. Karl’s fingers grabbed at the sheets, when Ben’s tongue pushed against his entrance. A strangled noise tore from his throat as Ben worked his tongue in and out with slow, deliberate laps.

Ben’s calloused hands slid up Karl’s thighs, spreading him wider. Karl’s breath hitched when the head of Ben’s cock nudged against his entrance. Ben leaned forward, pushing in with torturous slowness. The stretch burned, but Karl’s body yielded as it always did, leaving him gasping at the sudden fullness. Ben stilled above him, his breath ragged against Karl’s parted lips.

Ben withdrew slowly, almost entirely, before thrusting back in with deliberate force. Karl’s fingers dug into Ben’s forearms. “Fuck me.” His voice cracked, the words dissolving into a moan when Ben angled his hips, forcing his cock deeper, pounding relentlessly against Karl’s prostate with every snap of his hips.

Ben dragged his lips along Karl’s jaw. “Look at me,” he ordered, voice rough. Karl’s orgasm ripped through him in waves; ropes of cum sprayed over his chest. Ben groaned as Karl’s hole clenched around his cock. He slid in and out of Karl’s ass, thrusting in twice before burying himself to the hilt with a deep growl, his cock pulsing deep inside Karl’s spent body. Ben’s breath was hot against Karl’s lips. “I love you.”

The musk of sex hung thick in the air. Ben’s fingers loosened their grip in his hair, sliding down to cup Karl’s jaw. “Jesus,” he murmured, his thumb brushing Karl’s lips. Cum trickled down Karl’s thigh, warm and sticky as Ben’s cock slipped free. They lay exhausted, one on top of the other.

Karl ran his fingers through Ben’s hair. “I don’t like being apart.”

“I know. I don’t either. But we need to get used to it. And straight up, until tonight I hadn’t hooked up with anyone since you left, but I’m never gonna be anybody other than who I am, and when we’re apart--”

Karl stopped Ben from saying anything more. “It’s not about that.”

“What is it then?”

“I’m scared this is gonna get between us. Pete just booked us for eleven more cities next month. You might meet someone else while I’m chasing something I’m not even sure I want anymore.” Karl buried his face in Ben’s shoulder and began to quietly cry.

“So it is about that.” Ben chuckled.

“Why is that funny?” Karl asked.

“Because you’re already going to places and meeting people who are gonna want pieces of you, and I’m scared I might lose you to all of that. You’re not a farmer, Karl. Music is what you’re meant to do, and you gotta keep going. I watched you shine on that stage last night. I never imagined it would be like that. I saw something undeniable in you.”

Ben held Karl close in his arms. “I don’t want you to be scared. What I said before about not being all yours was wrong. Everything I am is yours.”

Ben and Karl spent the rest of the night tangled together beneath the thin motel blankets, speaking in whispers. Karl would wake to find Ben still holding him, as though he was afraid that letting go might somehow undo everything they’d said to each other.

By morning, the tour bus was already waiting.

▫ ▫ ▫

The final chapter of Cloverleaf will be posted next Wednesday, May 13